| subject: | as for me .. ah you'll see. |
| post date: | 2008-03-16 12:30:08 |
| views: 34 comments: 1 ratings: 0 |
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.brain damage. Heart damage.
i can hear the thunder outside..the lightening wont be far behind.
the rain will fall soon.... *sigh*
kinda like...you know....the fighting starts.....
the tears fall...the voices crack; shitty words are exchanged....
and heartache...lingering there the entire time. hail.
this will be a long.
stop reading here and go pee.
hell, grab a snack...
you guys know...what exstacy does to your life...right?
...fucks it up.....not usually right that moment, when you're rollin.....
but for many many many many many days afterwards.
sometimes months...*shrugs*...some...never seem to get a grasp on it.
-which is probably ME, right this moment- seeing as...
i'm gonna sit here and post about my feelings on it....
all while i'm about to drop and wait for it to fucking hit.
hypocritical, i know...
ask me if i care right now; i'll tell you no.
have you ever felt so wonderful? so alive? so beautiful? so full of life?
so charismatic? so charming? so in touch with your feelings?
*nods* that's what exstacy does. gives you a false sense about things.
let's you "think" that things are jussssssssssssssst fine......
and in reality..they are falling apart.
...you're oblivious to it; cause you feel great.
or..you REALIZE it...but you cant change what is already done,
so you just...attempt to make things better for *YOURSELF*...
((ie: taking a pill, two, three...fuck, brave? taking four or more.))
you'll feel great for awhile...but you know...like everyone says....
all great things, must come to an end.
you crash.
you hate the world. you want to sleep. you want to bitch.
everyone is against you. nothing goes your way. some are hungry.
some are thirsty. some are irritable....it varies for each person.
BUT every single person crashes when coming down.
it makes me...emotional. it makes me paranoid. it makes me sad.
it makes me cry. it makes me want to just be held. (the secure feelin)
it makes me crave being *UP* like i just was. "high" on life.
it makes me vulnerable. completely and uberly vulnerable.
you say you love me, i say it back...you sneeze...
and whoa; i'm like you dont love me? *half laugh*
it's HELLA strange what coming down does to a person.
no desire to do JACKSHIT,
except wait for that next pill to reach your hand.
you might not admit it..but yeah; you're addicted.
me too. dont worry. dont hate me cause i'm an addict.
you know extacy is a lot like ...being in love..
you can literally get the same highs...
offa loving someone and being loved back.
brain damage.heart damage.
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(stupidhead.)
(stupidhead.)
