fubar user: ☠PirateAss☠ (537597)

i find people saying "get out of my head" a lot...i wonder if that's a good thing or not...so take that into consideration when talking to me...did you really expect to get a gay orange gorilla for your bar mitzvah?

i'm tired of liars, swindlers, and cheats...so if this is something you regularly put on job applications...please move to the next window.

i am just me...that's it. anything you want to know, just ask! i'm fairly open about things.
yes: i watch TV...complete cartoon junkie.
no: i'm not looking to whore it up...so i you're gonna be a douchebag-pansy-pants...keep moving please.
yes: i read a lot...a fucking nerd to the core...and yeah, i collect comic books too..YES!(i AM going to marry Lobo)
no: i don't sing well. but that's never stopped me!
yes: i read people's profiles...and deny adds based on the sole fact that if we have nothing in common, why bother?
no: NO...right? no? oooor....how about...we'll go with NO!!!
yes: i have been arrested, tubed on grass, stolen fruit like Aladdin, make shrinky-dinks in the dark, tripped on the public bus during rush hour, hopped freight trains, slept in a dumpster :P, had sex in a church, skinny dipped late @ night and got leeches on me, played air guitar drunk...and...well, lots of other stupid shit :)
nope: don't do the whole bullshit games deal, so if you want to talk to me...and not my tits...be my guest
yes: sometimes Anna talks in 3rd person...who doesn't?
no: i'm not a total alcoholic, i prefer...boozehound...or connoisseur of the drunken arts!
yes: i have 2 creepy crawlies, they're the craziest!
no:
yes: i spend a lot of time talking to myself. and my cats.
nopers: i don't jerk off to thoughts of you
yes: i fucking love baseball..RedSox being the greatest team EVER!
no: i don't think there's any point to any of what i have just done here
yes: i expect there to be loads of typos
no: i don't want you to point them out. but thanks anyway.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Capt.CrackAss

Birthday: 09/25/1982

Birthplace: Farmington MAINE!

Current Location: SHITHOLE USA!

Eye Color: moot

Hair Color: depends on the weather

Height: a whopping 5'4

Right Handed or Left Handed: i can use either, i'm ambi-talented... ;)

Your Heritage: Brazilian, Albanian, Native American, German, Scotch

The Shoes You Wore Today: you're supposed to wear shoes?!? well...Vans Slip-Ons with Pink Flamin-Joes on 'em

Your Perfect Pizza: the kind that tastes damned good. veggie and anchovie

Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: have just one successful midget toss

Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: YAY!

Thoughts First Waking Up: fuck me?

Your Best Physical Feature: chickenpox?

Your Bedtime: whenever my lazy ass gets off'n the computer

Your Most Missed Memory: being retarded with Iris all day every day...*sniff*

Pepsi or Coke: cokesi isn't an option?

McDonalds or Burger King: McDeadanimals...

Single or Group Dates: um...i'll let you know if i ever go on a date...seriously dude...that was just mean.

Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: none of the above, such insolance! MY TEA IZZA BEST!

Chocolate or Vanilla: vanillocolatestraw.

Cappuccino or Coffee: COFFEE!

Do you Smoke: like a fucking train...

Do you Swear: like a fucking PIRATE DOCKWORKER!

Do you Sing: like a humpback whale...or flipper

Do you Shower Daily: yessir

Have you Been in Love: as a matter of fact i have..waste of time i'm tellin' ya!

Do you want to go to College: to pick up hot chicks? FUCK YEAH!

Do you want to get Married: only if it's a shotgun wedding ;)

Do you belive in yourself: i believe in the toaster gods, and cheese...god damn do i love cheese

Do you get Motion Sickness: only when i spin around wicked fast

Do you think you are Attractive: i'm attractive to the C.H.U.D

Are you a Health Freak: um...look @ me....do i LOOK like one? Sheesh!

Do you get along with your Parents: fine n dandy

Do you like Thunderstorms: fucking love 'em < 3 < 3

Do you play an Instrument: the skinflute count??? just kidding, yeah a few

In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: hooooooooooo yeah!

In the past month have you Smoked: YEAH, couldn't get the fire goin'

In the past month have you been on Drugs: only the ones my mom gives me

In the past month have you gone on a Date: what's this
"date" thing you keep speaking of? seriously...is this some newfangled contraption i wasn't aware of?

In the past month have you gone to a Mall: sure....you've gotta hit on highschool girls somehow!

In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nopers

In the past month have you eaten Sushi: i wish

In the past month have you been on Stage: as my own private dancer? you betcher boots!

In the past month have you been Dumped: hahahahaha you could say that

In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: in the shower....yes

In the past month have you Stolen Anything: i took my own coffee mug..then returned it, i felt horrid

Ever been Drunk: NO! (if you believe that, you owe me $100)

Ever been called a Tease: yessah ;)

Ever been Beaten up: plenty

Ever Shoplifted: what they don't know can't hurt them...(psst, wanna go share this bottle of booze i lifted?)

How do you want to Die: as a flamingo

What do you want to be when you Grow Up: a toys r us kid...or a rabid cheetah..maybe a flamboyant dentist, or a go-go dancer

What country would you most like to Visit: anywhere that isn't the US (or Canadia)

In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue/greens/eyes

Favourite Hair Color: none really...hair...no hair...spongey substance...it'll all get shaved off in your sleep anyway :P

Short or Long Hair: doesn't matter...

Height: taller than me is a plus

Weight: i can't really guess unless i see you

Best Clothing Style: the kind that's fuckin' hot! oh, mine?

Number of Drugs I have taken: 4567889! that's not true. i lied.

Number of CDs I own: a billion scratched cd's in a box.

Number of Piercings: 17...ish?

Number of Tattoos: 23 depending on the lighting

Number of things in my Past I Regret: not doing a lot of
shit right...other than that? everything and nothing! hahahaha